This one was pretty short and isn’t finished, but I liked that it took place in the future yet it didn’t seem much different than today. The author describes the technology but the working conditions are exactly the same: terrible and soul crushing. I thought that it was funny that was what didn’t change in 100 year at least of progress from now. To me it gave the story a realistic edge and made me sympathize with the protagonist. I’m curious to see what direction the story goes in next, I would love it if it became a fantasy vs technology battle but that’s just me.

I have to admit that this story blew me away. When I was younger I was really scared of growing up and when I was in high school I was so stressed out just thinking of being an adult I was so sure I couldn’t do it. This really hit home for me, especially since I have to move to New Mexico in a couple years with my mom. I’m really upset at the thought of leaving the place I’ve lived my whole life, so I can personally relate to the feelings of the protagonist

I don’t know how I’m going to survive being uprooted, but I know that I’m not going to get a perfect bf who looks exactly like Percy Jackson. It’s not really realistic at all how they became friends, it would be so creepy if a stranger gave you their phone number.

Wow. This just really spoke to me and made me very worried about the author. I’ve had a really hard time with depression and anxiety, actually I have to take medicine for that and I’ve been going to therapy my entire life. So I know how it feels to have problems just getting up in the morning and doing what you have to do because anxiety is eating away at you every waking moment and you just feel like you can’t give anything worthwhile and you should probably just die. Yeah this is really sad… but it’s very genuine. I can tell the author has experienced these kind of emotional problems and I really do hope that they’ve gotten some help for it. I don’t feel good about myself like ever and I have struggles to try to be like everyone else but it’s so hard… I can really relate a little too much to what the author is talking about. I hope that everyone in class is feeling okay and can appreciate the lives they have. Talk to someone before it gets that bad please.

I’m dumb because at first I thought that this story took place in a dystopian future like from Hunger Games but as I read along it became obvious that the setting was colonial America. Homeless kids were treated really badly in that time period and moved from place to place looking for work and struggling to survive. Even civilians who were respected in the community were at the mercy of redcoats though, it was a very turbulent time. I think that this story describes the incident that made things very difficult between colonists and redcoats and helped set off the incident that started the Revolutionary War. It was an argument between a civilian and a redcoat that escalated from a snowball fight to the redcoat shooting into the crowd and was later put on trial. Because I live in Hawaii it had be explained to me when I learned about this in school that being hit by a snowball in New England it worse than being hit by rocks. Even so that’s obviously no excuse for armed violence…

Despite a few grammatical errors, I think that this story was well written in showing the severity of the time period and the strife between the people back then affected normal people, not just the Revolutionaries.

Haniel

Well this was a rather short story, but I thought that it was an interesting concept. A human wanders into a fantasy land but wants nothing more than to go home and is completely disinterested in the plot. It’s pretty normal that someone wouldn’t want to get wrapped up in a stranger’s problems and not get involved in their business, but we expect the opposite from our protagonist. It was fun to read but it seemed to be cut short so I’m hoping for a part 2

I thought that the main character’s boyfriend was an asshole who kept doing whatever he wanted without listening to his girlfriend. The narrator is dragged around to random spots by her jerk of a boyfriend while they’re supposed to be on vacation in Japan. He barely ever thinks about his girlfriend when she’s right in front of him and brings her to a Studio Ghibli store just to shut her up. I have to admit I love the experience of the Studio Ghibli films and I would feel like a little girl again going into a store like that. At the last page he got lucky with a nice gesture but I suspect that he stole the music box that she wanted and they just happened to get a nice view.

There are only minor errors for this story, I counted six in total. The story was really good in how the expectation for the genre is set up. The two main characters are guys who get to meet a hot celebrity for an interview. They are really excited and talk to her for a bit and find out that she’s a really nice and cool person. I thought that Malcolm was making out with Jennifer at first, but it turned out that she’s a werewolf and ate him. I seriously did NOT see that twist coming and I love it. It’s obvious what it is when it happens, but the protagonist’s response is 100 percent what any sane person would feel like. He just freaks the hell out and tries to run away, while mourning his friend. The description is so brutal, he even has to fish around in his friend’s remains to get the keys to his car.

Honestly, I think that it’s the best ending that we’ve had so far. It’s very final and open ended but it’s still satisfying for me. I can’t help but wonder if Jennifer knew that she was a werewolf and just forgot that it would be a full moon, based on how regretful she is the following morning, based on how little she seemed to be surprised at the outcome. I guess that she could have just been bitten and turned that night, and was in denial about being a werewolf

I liked that the title was this year but going into it was very difficult. The first part was a conversation between the two main characters but it was written like a screenplay with quotations. The author randomly spells numbers out and then on the same page switches to putting numbers as 1 or 2. The same happens with dialogue, sometimes there is quotations and sometimes not, or it switches back to the screenplay format. There are major spelling errors like “scarried” or “dri” so obviously the author doesn’t have spellcheck. On top of that commas are never used and the font randomly changed halfway through the story. The time skip at the end is really sloppy and as I read the last page I realized that the opening dialogue scene has a lot of grammatical errors. “Gullibles” isn’t a word. We don’t even have a real ending because it suddenly cuts ahead to when the narrator is telling the story to his kids.

I think that this story needs a lot of work before it’s readable. More thought should be put into the spelling, grammar, and plot structure so that the events make sense.

Tainted Temple

I have to admit, I was nervous reading this because I was going into it trying to think of something nice to say. The protagonist is really irritating in how arrogant he is but I love the trope of the wise old man who was gonna teach this guy a lesson. The imagery of the shop and the dragon is really well written too. I’m confused by the ending, and wondering what the old man meant by “giving him what he needed” since the protagonist fears for his life and the dragon keeps eating his other tattoos. I’m hoping for a part 2 that will explain this and give closure on the story. But other than that, I had a lot of fun reading it and I looked forward to his next writing

Still Night

Once again I was impressed by my classmates’ work. Quite a departure from the last modern day story, this one is about a doctor in the Victorian age who is summoned to a home to deliver a baby in the dead of night. The language used makes it clear that the protagonist is a well learnt man and has been in the medical practice for so long that he keeps medical tools in his home. The way that he describes things is so positive and flowery that I didn’t even realize that the baby he delivered was strangled by the umbilical cord and that the mother might die until I read the story a second time.

It’s very well written but the protagonist’d constant positive attitude is very unnerving all things considered. Even when he delivers a dead baby he doesn’t really let that put a damper on his night. I’m not 100 percent sure if this is intentionally done, but it’s a clever character choice to color the story

The Knight and the Dragon

It’s a classic story of a good knight fighting against a fierce dragon for the hand of the beautiful princess, but with a twist. This works as a children’s story because of how idealistic the setting is, as the protagonist is quickly accepted as the king’s son despite being adopted, being beloved by everyone despite not having any stated accomplishments except for being a knight and participating in jousting tournaments, and the kingdom being okay with their favorite knight sparing a dragon they wanted dead. I don’t have a problem with the story, I still liked reading it. But the knight suddenly getting a potion from a wizard who wasn’t mentioned before seems kind of forced and there are a few grammatical errors that bother me. It’s a good idea and I like the way the author phrases things, but I think that it still needs work with the story structure and world building

Click

To be honest, it’s pretty chilling to read this after dark, like I did for the first time. With an innocent title like “Click” (thankfully unrelated to the god awful Adam Sandler movie of the same name) you would normally thinking that it would be related to technology, so it’s shocking when it turns into a horror story. While I thought that it was an interesting concept, it doesn’t really go very far before the story ends, so I’d like it to be longer. Other than that, good job!

HER

Honestly, this story is so heartbreaking that it almost made me cry the first time I read it. I’m not exactly sure what I was expecting with a title like HER, but I didn’t expect this. I really thought that things would get better for the little girl, like she would get a new friend or would get taken away by Child Protective Services, but sadly real life isn’t like a fairy tale.

Her life just got worse as no one was there for the girl as she grew up, resorting to dangerous and illegal activities to distract herself from her intense negative emotions. Eventually, the girl’s terrible life choices caught up with her and she got arrested. It’s a very realistic story, to the point where I’m worried about the author. It brings up social issues that need to be addressed more than they are, because one toxic person can easily poison another, especially if they are a small child. I can relate to being around someone who doesn’t have your best interests in mind and tends to ignore you while claiming to do the opposite. I hope for the best for everyone in class.

Road to Pokemon Champion

This is probably the only story that we’ll get that is actually fanfiction. I’m uncomfortable with the implication that the Pokemon nicknamed Rachel has a crush on her trainer but luckily that doesn’t go anywhere as the story isn’t finished. I’m aware that it’s hard to write at times, I’ve had a dry spell that lasted for months… but it’s common courtesy to finish your assignments on time. I’d like the story to be original. Fanfiction is very base and limited, and I feel like the themes presented are often very inappropriate for polite company or a classroom setting. I think if the author took another crack at it with their own ideas then it could be a good story. The narration is very natural and flowing, more than the past two stories so I can see potential

In the beginning a guy comes in with a damn knife wedged in his eye. Then it was like a hospital drama, but it had a really anti climatic resolution when Georgie just yanks it out and for some reason keeps it to later cut open a rabbit that he ran over. Then they get lost for god knows how long and try to do survivalist stuff but I don’t really feel like they’re in danger. I thought that it was stupid for them to pick up a hitchhiker though, I thought that it was going to turn into a horror movie. That’s basically all that happens, but it’s so surreal and gross I’m not sure what parts actually happened since the two main characters were tripped out of their heads for almost the entire story. Talking about the logistics is pretty hilarious because these guys put no thought into their actions.